Admitting Fault Is a Matter of Dignity; One Must Not Live Too Shamelessly
Gibran said that he would not make friends with people who always think they are right, because such people are shameless. Everyone makes mistakes; a person who标榜 himself as a sage and cannot accept half a word of criticism from others, no matter how exalted his social position, does not deserve praise for his conduct.
On the contrary, admitting fault is dignified gentlemanly behavior; after all, one must not live too shamelessly. If a person acts shamelessly, refuses to admit his mistakes, and even looks for all sorts of excuses to shift blame onto others, he will eventually lose friends and make enemies all around.
If a group collectively refuses to admit fault, fabricates all sorts of excuses, distorts facts, and forcibly twists its own errors into others' errors, that is not success but a massive failure. Because such distortion of facts will only make others think that everyone in this group is undignified and that it is a shameless clique; they will thereafter refuse to deal with anyone in it.
One need not care about vanity and face, but one needs dignity. Dignity is not the same as vanity and face: vanity and face are false, but dignity is rooted in honest civilized conduct. A person without this quality is a bad person; no matter what he does, he does not deserve others' respect and trust.
Such a person, whether as a farmer, a physician, a merchant, or a politician, is treacherous and cunning. When there are many such people in a society, that society is polluted and its morals degenerate. Merchants are deceitful, physicians greedy, farmers profit-obsessed; in the end the whole society lacks a sense of security. The goods and food we buy may be poisoned, and the services we receive may be corrupted; people will, to achieve their ends, stop at nothing to conceal the facts and exaggerate themselves.
Many faults cannot be avoided and cannot be prosecuted, but people need to be able to face them honestly. Facing them honestly not only wins others' respect but also prevents one from repeating the same mistakes. When we deal with others honestly and they still unreasonably refuse to let it go, that is their problem, not ours. But if we do not admit our fault for fear of being blamed, or even threaten and intimidate others to conceal our fault, then that is our problem, not others'. In the end we are not only blamed but also questioned and reviled.
One lie requires countless lies to prop it up; once a person chooses to conceal his fault to escape reality, he must manufacture countless lies to cover it. It is better simply and cleanly to admit one's fault, ask others' forgiveness, and correct it properly in the future. To recognize a fault and correct it is the greatest good; in a modern civilized society, such an honest attitude wins the respect and understanding of the great majority rather than making enemies everywhere. People who flex their muscles everywhere are foolish, because no matter how strong they are, if they have too many enemies they will die a miserable death.
As parents, one of the phrases we repeat most when educating our children is to demand that they be honest; but if we ourselves are dishonest, then we are saying one thing and doing another. Although absolute honesty is hard to achieve, on matters of right and wrong one should still be honest. Honesty is the guarantee of credit; once a person is dishonest, he loses credit. Credit is the foundation of all human relationships; without it, all relationships are unstable.
Being a dignified person, not acting like a rogue or a scoundrel, is a matter of life and death — both for individuals and for collectives. A short-term blow is no great matter, but exposing an undignified essence will affect us in the long run.