Entering a State of Stillness and Clarity

At dusk, when the last streak of sunset on my desk has vanished, I stand up and stretch, looking out the window into the distance. Though the sun has set, the evening glow remains; the Western Hills in the distance stand out in clear outline against the golden afterglow. Two plumes of white smoke drift, unhurried, from the two chimneys of a nearby boiler room, forming two columns in the air.

This ordinary scene brings my inner world into a state of stillness and clarity. I am alone in the room, and the world is as quiet to me as this room. At this moment I need no interlocutor; I savor this tranquility—doing nothing, saying nothing, gazing into the distance, letting my thoughts drift freely through this vast universe. I seem to be thinking something, yet seem to be thinking nothing; whether I think or not, in a moment I forget what I was thinking.

I do not need a Peach Blossom Spring tailor-made for me, nor do I need to leave this world. I have no more confusions; I can be this tranquil anywhere. Once I felt the world had too much strife; now I know that, for myself, all strife is over. If I must say I have any regret, my only regret is that I was not mature and compassionate enough in the past to treat every being I was destined to meet with the most peaceful heart.

But all that is past; I no longer brood over the past, nor do I harbor any expectations for the future. The river of life flows quietly before my eyes and will never again raise great waves.

I no longer need to read and write in haste; in the days to come I intend, methodically and according to my own plan, to complete some systematic study and writing tasks. If I should unfortunately pass away midway, I will not regret having failed to finish my plans. I am one of the multitude; if the work I leave undone is truly valuable, others will carry it on, and I need not worry overmuch. If it has no value, then let it all drift away with the wind.

I have no wish to be a noble person, nor any wish to be a base one. Under the promptings of my nature, whatever harmless-to-others thing I do, I will not feel ashamed—even if some of it is self-interested rather than altruistic. Born a human, I do not want to deceive, nor do I want to wrong myself, though I am glad to help others. I accept my true self, and I accept the true others who enter my life.

I do not want to get too close to anyone filled with resentment, nor do I want to associate with the self-righteous. I want to protect my own tranquil world well—though in fact no one can destroy it anymore. I know the only person I must defeat is myself; having defeated myself, I have defeated the whole world. Now that I have defeated myself, I need care about nothing else.

I do not need to leave my family and friends for the forest to awaken the Way; I greatly enjoy the joy of being with them, and I have no quarrels with them. I treat them with the utmost calm while keeping my own independence. When a person's heart no longer has inner conflict, he can be at peace with his relatives and friends, and with anyone else in the world as well.

All ridicule and abuse directed at me I will let fall on deaf ears. If ridiculing and abusing me can make others a little happier, then let them have it; I myself cannot hear those jeers and curses. If I truly owe someone something, I will certainly do something to make up for my fault and balance that person's heart.

I am already a very happy person, and so I hope everyone is happy. If I have caused someone misfortune, I will do my utmost to remove his or her displeasure. I like keeping a neither-near-nor-far distance from people, which minimizes harm to others. Though many people particularly want to get close to me, I always politely decline. My life experience tells me that moderate distance prevents disputes; too much intimacy breeds unnecessary conflicts. Besides, I already have enough social contacts; there is no need to add more.

I have no interest in becoming a sage, nor do I have any religious faith, and I believe I will have none for the rest of my life. I can be calm and happy, and positively and kind to others, without faith; so I see no need for the superfluous. Sometimes I quote certain religious figures, but that does not mean I will become their follower. I do not intend to hand my soul over to anyone else to manage; I have enough ability to soothe my own heart.

Entering this state of stillness and clarity, a faint joy wells up from the bottom of my heart.