The Friendship Behind a Pot of Orchids

A young lymphoma patient, ever since she was diagnosed with lymphoma, has come to me for pure Chinese medicine treatment. In the blink of an eye we have been together for two years. Fortunately, I have stabilized the progression of her condition: I have eliminated some of the lymphomas on her body and shrunk others. The only one that did not achieve a satisfactory result is the inguinal lymphoma that was biopsied at the hospital when she was diagnosed.

During this summer vacation she took her child back to her hometown in Sichuan for a holiday. When returning from her hometown to her usual place of residence, Nanning, she carried a pot of orchids along with her. A couple of days ago she again carried this pot of orchids from Nanning to come see me and gave that pot of orchids to me.

To be honest, I was deeply moved when I received this gift. Although this is not a rare variety of orchid, she traveled a long distance carrying it all the way, including the flowerpot and the fertilizer; the effort she took already makes me very grateful.

I do not like accepting gifts from patients and usually refuse them. But some long-term patients have gotten along with me like old friends; when they come for follow-up visits and bring a small gift that didn't cost much, I no longer pretend to be too principled to refuse. A physician who is spotless to the point of being stern and impartial leaves patients with an impression of being unapproachable, and it also makes these cancer patients who need long-term follow-up feel uneasy.

My own personality is naturally quite approachable. For long-term follow-up patients, an approachable doctor can make them feel more at ease. A doctor who is hard to talk to makes them tense and anxious.

I also enjoy getting along like friends with long-term patients who share my interests and trust each other. For patients who bring gifts, I mostly quietly deduct the cost of the gift from their consultation fees, not wishing to add to their financial burden.

Exchanging gifts and behaving in reasonable, proper ways can build good friendship and trust between doctors and patients. Friendship and trust are like lubricants, able to dissolve all the tension and guardedness brought about by mutual unfamiliarity and distrust. This is very helpful both for the doctor maintaining a good mental state and for the patient's recovery.

I am someone who loves growing flowers and grasses, but I had never grown orchids before. After this lymphoma patient brought a pot of orchids, the room-filling fragrance made me unable to resist spending over two hundred yuan to buy two more pots of orchids, placing one at home and one at my workplace. Looking at these orchids and smelling their delicate fragrance puts me in a good mood.

Over two years of diagnosis and treatment we have had a lot of communication. She has always enjoyed reading the various articles I write; influenced by me, her lifestyle has changed considerably. Now she also enjoys a quiet, reclusive life, and her mood and physical condition have improved greatly compared with before.

I like this outcome. I am very glad to have been able to help her. The improvement in her physical and mental state has given meaning to my life. And this way of getting along with patients also makes me very relaxed. With patients like this, I can treat them without any reservations, just as I would treat my own family. This is the ideal medical model I have always been pursuing.