From Appreciating Oneself to Appreciating Others

A person who can only appreciate himself and cannot appreciate others has a deeply lonely soul. There should be a stage of life as splendid as summer flowers, and another as serene and lovely as autumn leaves. When our life is at sunrise, we radiate energy and warmth in full vigor; when it is at the moon rising over the willow tips, we should learn to draw energy quietly from others. And these two stages always alternate, or arrive together, within our complex lives.

People of outstanding talent especially must learn to appreciate others, lest they admire only their own reflection. Great commanding figures are often unimpressive in appearance; for if their own light shone too brightly and eclipsed the talents around them, those around them could not display their abilities. Thus the great wise appear foolish, and the highly skillful often seem clumsy. Whoever can steer the grand course is never someone who only appreciates himself.

Harmonious life also comes from appreciating those around us. The stubborn and self-willed are rarely good at handling human relationships, because they cannot see others' strengths, nor let others feel their gentleness and warmth. Only by appreciating friends and family from the heart can one gain their love and trust.

Do we really need material abundance to ensure spiritual joy? Not necessarily. The foundation of a joyful mood and an atmosphere of love and being loved lies in the happiness, trust and security that mutual appreciation brings.

Appreciating oneself can build a strong inner world; appreciating others can build an even stronger one. For appreciation of others extends our inner world into broader realms. The dismantling of barriers between people begins first with mutual appreciation; appreciation can also dissolve hatred.

From appreciating oneself to appreciating others, we may achieve a breakthrough of the self—yet how hard a thing it is. In Buddhism, letting go of the attachment to self already brings one to the attainment of an Arhat. The tragedy of human beings lies in being smug over one's own small virtues, so that a single leaf blinds the eye and hides Mount Tai, and one cannot see the good in others.