Inside and Outside the Security Gate

At each entrance to the reading rooms of the National Library there is a security gate, whose function is to shut out the noise from outside the reading room. So once we step into the reading room, even if just a few meters beyond the door it is still bustling and noisy, the reading room can remain in a state of utter silence.

I have been reading at the National Library for more than twenty years. When I first came to Beijing, the National Library was not as lively as it is now. The National Library has now become an internet-famous check-in spot; on holidays, in the hall outside the reading rooms, crowds of tourists look through the glass at the scenery inside, and many take out their phones and cameras to take photos. It is now the season of warm spring and blooming flowers; the magnolias and crabapples in the National Library courtyard have also become internet-famous spots, with large numbers of people coming every day to take photos beneath them, and some influencers even holding live video streams here.

But the various reading rooms of the National Library have always been quiet. From opening at 9 a.m. to closing at 9 p.m., during those 12 hours, almost no conversation can be heard inside; the vast majority of readers consciously set their phones to silent. Every reading room has some corners that outside tourists cannot see through the glass; I usually stay in such corners, reading, studying, and writing.

The world inside and outside the security gate is like two different worlds. The outside world is full of color and excitement, with an endless stream of tourists happily singing and laughing. The inside world is equally splendid, as a group of readers sit silently, single-mindedly roaming in their own spiritual worlds. Different people live on this planet in different ways; what is rare is that everyone is content in their own way.

These days, apart from the weekly closing day on Monday, I spend all my time in some corner of the library. Every day I step early into the world inside the security gate, and everything happening in the outside world is blocked by this gate. I am grateful to this security gate for blocking all kinds of noise outside, allowing me to live quietly the life I want.

On the road of our lives, there are far too many similar noises. This world has never been quiet. To be precise, the great world we live in is very much like a patient with bipolar disorder, often suddenly switching from elation to depression and then suddenly back again to elation, like sitting on a roller coaster, up and down, with no stability at all. If our inner selves have no security gate but fluctuate along with this restless world, we will never have peace.

We habitually regard humanity as a whole as rational and wise, but reality and history tell us that most of the time, the human race as a group is not rational, and every so some absurd and bewildering thing happens. After a long stretch of peaceful days, a group of people grows restless; after a long stretch of turmoil, another group of people steps forward to set things right. Many times, humanity's major decisions are made on impulse rather than on reason, and impulsive decisions bring unease to the whole of society. But fortunately, no matter how turbulent, there is eventually a moment of returning to calm.

We are now in such a turbulent historical period. As the tariff war started by the United States intensifies, the global situation has grown tense, and some friends who are easily influenced by the outside world have begun to feel anxious. I hope you learn to set up a security gate for your own life, holding your peace and happiness in your own hands, rather than unrealistically expecting the outside world to be as we wish.

This morning, I went to the community water station to fetch two buckets of water. On my way back, I saw ahead an elderly woman walking with faltering steps, pulling a shopping cart loaded with some daily necessities she had bought from the supermarket. I followed behind her, walking at her unhurried pace. At that moment I thought: in a few more decades, I will be just like her, no longer having abundant energy, with not too many days left, needing very limited resources, only able to quietly wait for death to take me away from this world. Since my final destination is no more than this, why should I care so much?

From birth to death, our true needs are very limited; most people spend their whole lives pursuing redundant things under all kinds of pretexts. The reason we need these redundant things is only that deep down we are always full of fear and unease about the future. Driven by these fears and anxieties, we toil and rush about anxiously, suffering both physically and mentally.

In fact, most of the time, the sky is not going to fall. Although there are many people on Earth, it is not so hard to stay alive. Even if we found a remote place to farm, we could support ourselves; I set my bottom line for survival at this lowest level. There is nothing that cannot be lost, because what we truly need to have is not much.

I am especially grateful to fate for letting me be born into a farming family; my childhood survival experience taught me that staying alive is not so difficult. Back then, in that barren life, we could also find our own joy, so I have almost no moments of fear and unease. With no fear or unease in the heart, we naturally have a security gate, and whatever happens outside the gate can have only a very limited impact on us.

Look at this earth that has just endured winter; is it not now in the moment of flowers blooming in profusion? The current difficulties will not be all of our lives. Wait quietly, and the hardest days will pass before we know it.