Notes on Insight
I
The Buddha's teaching takes precepts as the teacher and wisdom as the root. Precepts arise from the mind; apart from the mind there are no precepts, apart from precepts no samadhi, apart from samadhi no wisdom. When the mind gives rise to precepts and wisdom, there is no alarm, no fear, no care, no worry, no greed, no ill will, no delusion, no pride, no doubt, no ordinary, no sage, no delusions at all, and no wisdom at all; no arising, no ceasing, no defilement, no purity, no increase, no decrease; no mark of self, no mark of person, no mark of beings, no mark of lifespan; no monastery, no mundane world, no dignified bearing, and no lack of it. Not Buddha, not not-Buddha. Even entering a pit of fire, one finds coolness. Words cease; only cultivation can realize it.
II
Outwardly apart from all marks, inwardly apart from all turmoil. Things and self are both empty, and both fully real; emptiness and existence are not two, arising and ceasing have constancy. Both speech and action, word and deed as one—this is called true speech, and this is shouldering the burden. Fearless of others' words, fawning on no beings, not admiring sages, not prizing strange tales; simply being one's true self, direct realization first. Step by step, there will be no loss. Work by day, rest by night; now moving, now still; in movement and stillness alike at peace, following nature.
III
The mind has no distinctions; all beings are equal, neither close nor distant. No Buddha, no not-Buddha. No wise, no foolish, no sage, no deluded. No high, no low, no great, no small; harmonize the light, blend with the dust, arise and cease together with all things. With precepts and wisdom, acting in the world; with this one life, advancing and resting; in advance and rest alike pure, the mind ever at peace.
IV
Sometimes firmness is necessary, because some people are rigid and hard to tame, unmoved by words and not to be transformed in a short time. When they act unjustly and harm others, one should follow instinct rather than theory and subdue them directly; if need be, put them in prison so they cannot go on harming others. At the same time, seek to transform them and forgive their faults. This is for the sake of the victim and the perpetrator alike, for it prevents further wrongdoing. As the ancients said: petty kindness is the thief of great kindness. The same applies to bad social systems.
V
Only by being widely learned and experienced, and daring to break through, can one open a new road. Throughout my life I have drawn great strength from these qualities: upholding justice, being fearless, thinking diligently, taking responsibility, sympathizing with the weak, being independent, loving learning, acting actively, being honest and upright, combining strategy with principle, knowing when to stop and exercising restraint, being confident and self-disciplined, being untiring, being generous toward others, constantly reflecting, earnestly repenting, and correcting faults as soon as known. I know I am not yet perfect, and indeed have committed great faults and done wrong; therefore I have never given up the effort to improve myself and to give actively to atone. I will not conceal my faults, but I will never on that account belittle myself, withdraw from the world, or do nothing.
VI
The best state in life is to want little and already have enough. To have two or three close friends and to work at what one loves. To have sufficient ability, to love learning untiringly, to be diligent, frugal, and plain, yet never grasping. Not dwelling on the past, not fearing the future, nor wasting the present. To be gentle in manner and sincere in dealing with the world. Optimistic and open, sharing joy with ordinary people. Not seeking perfection, accepting one's flaws, harmonizing the light and blending with the dust. If this is so, what perplexity remains? What sorrow? My life is like this, and I am satisfied.
VII
Two attitudes resolve all strife and bring the greatest happiness in life. The first is: "I was wrong, please forgive me; I will change." The second is: "Although you were wrong, I do not hold it against you; please don't take it to heart." Use the first attitude toward yourself and the second toward others.
VIII
Happiness came quietly to my side; troubles slowly diminish, until they are nearly gone. A blazing life does not last forever; in calm days, all is well. Though small displeasures occasionally arise, they pass in an instant and leave no trace. After great storms, after overwhelming sorrow and joy, it is time for complete awakening.
IX
Last Mid-Autumn Festival, my revered teacher Li Lixin sent me a text message. He said I was like the sun, not the moon—warm and unrestrained, but lacking in stillness. That sparked my journey of seeking realization, until this May Day I took refuge at Longquan Temple under Master Xuecheng. For nine months I have kept my teacher's message and open it from time to time. My teacher regards me as his own son; when I studied under him, he treated me as the apple of his eye and nurtured me carefully.
Twenty years have passed since I left school, yet my teacher still cares for me as before. After graduating I repeatedly begged for his teaching; he always modestly said his learning was no longer a match for mine. Only this time did he enlighten me again. I pondered for nearly a full year, and today I finally understand why my teacher urged me to be as gentle as the moon.
Practicing at Longquan Temple, while learning to realize truth directly, I felt the stillness of my fellow practitioners and benefited greatly. But over time it felt too still, close to aridity, too austere; and not being able to support oneself is ultimately a disgrace. After a while I finally understood that heaven has the sun and moon, day and night. People should likewise follow nature: there should be passionate self-striving as well as quiet self-reflection.
At this point my nine-month journey of realization seems complete. Because my state of mind changed, my life has been put in order. Today, alone, I suddenly wept; the teacher's grace is so profound that no repayment could ever be enough.
I have met many enlightened teachers in my life, but the one who laid my solid foundation was my revered teacher Mr. Li Lixin. I am so fortunate that, wherever I go, whether poor or rich, he has as always cared for me, valued me, taught me, and held high expectations of me, urging me onward and spurring me to know myself. In my heart he is great, because he shaped my soul.