Overcoming a Twenty-Year Driving Phobia in Twenty Days

On January 11, 2026 (Gregorian calendar), our winter vacation began. On January 14, I went to Haidian Driving School to learn to drive.

I had registered at Haidian Driving School near the end of the summer vacation in 2025, planning to learn to drive and take the license test. But at that time there were many students and I could not book a car at the school; after I passed Subject 1, I left for school in another city. Just before winter vacation, I asked the driving school's customer service to help me book consecutive practice sessions starting January 14. So after returning home for the holiday, having rested only two days, I went to Haidian Driving School for Subject 2 training.

When my father learned that I had signed up to learn driving, he treated it as a major crisis. For so many years, my whole family had believed that I was simply not cut out to learn driving. They all felt I was naturally clumsy behind the wheel—that I would not only fail to learn but might even cause a serious accident.

My father's panic was not without reason. More than ten years ago, he bought an agricultural tricycle and was teaching me to drive it on the rural roads of our hometown when I had an accident; my mother was still alive at that time. On my very first lesson driving my father's tricycle, I drove it straight down a steep embankment by the roadside.

At that moment the front wheel had already slid down the slope and the vehicle was about to overturn. My father, sitting in the back seat, jumped out in an emergency and pulled the vehicle back with all his might; only then did I avoid falling from the embankment, more than ten meters high, into the paddy field beside the road.

My father had studied martial arts; at that time he was only in his sixties and still strong. Moreover, his own son was in danger, and instinct made him disregard everything to drag me and the vehicle to a stop—but even so, he used every ounce of his strength that time.

This accident left an indelible impression on my father. After my father-in-law learned of it, he warned me never to learn to drive a motor vehicle for the rest of my life. Because before that, my father-in-law had let me practice on his motorcycle, and on my very first practice session I rode it straight into a paddy field. Fortunately, the slope was not very high, and the mud of the paddy field saved me.

At that time I had only recently married my wife, and my father-in-law was badly frightened; he never again dared let me practice on a motorcycle. I seemed to be naturally unsuited to these fast-moving motor vehicles; every accident happened because of fear. Whenever someone honked, I would panic, lose my wits, and lose control of the vehicle.

So I had never entertained the idea of learning to drive; I thought it best never to drive in my life. But our family had been in Beijing's license lottery for 14 years, and in 2025 we finally won a quota for a new-energy vehicle; the family bought its first car. My wife encouraged me to try learning at a driving school. Though reluctant, I still steeled myself and signed up.

Subject 1 and Subject 4, the written tests, posed no difficulty for me, but the hands-on steering operations of Subject 2 and Subject 3 still terrified me.

I am naturally bold, and there are few things that frighten me. In first grade I dared to catch all kinds of venomous snakes with my bare hands in the grass, and could catch them quickly and accurately without ever failing. As a child I was also the most enthusiastic diver in the village, jumping from the village bridge into the river every day in summer, never afraid. This is also why I dare to make many decisions that others would not; my older brother has always admired my courage and boldness.

Motor vehicles are among the few things that have always frightened me, especially after I narrowly escaped death in a car accident in November 2023, after which I was filled with fear of motor vehicles.

I recall that shortly after the accident, on several occasions when I heard car horns on the road, I was frightened to tears, clutching my wife's hand tightly and not daring to relax, and for a long time I did not dare go out. During that period I had post-traumatic stress disorder.

But later I realized I had to do something to help myself come out of this post-traumatic stress disorder. I began riding bicycles and electric bikes again on the streets of Beijing. When I first resumed riding I still felt afraid, but within a few days I had readjusted.

When I decided this time to learn driving, I went to the driving school with this same mindset. I thought I could not avoid this problem for a lifetime; I should face it directly and not let past failures become a lifelong shadow.

Before formally learning to drive, we had to complete four lesson-hours on a simulator. The simulator learning simply broke me down: over and over I drove the car into the wall. I had originally signed up for C1 (manual transmission); after the simulator, my confidence collapsed and I asked the school to switch me to C2 (automatic).

But when it came to the hands-on Subject 2 training, I realized that the fear in my heart was my greatest enemy; learning to drive was not as hard as I had imagined. In my first driving session, we practiced right-angle turns and curve driving; the coach taught me twice and I had it. From the third run on, the coach basically pointed out no more errors.

After that day's practice, the coach asked whether I had learned before. I told him I not only had no prior experience but had been in several accidents, with a deep psychological shadow. The coach said, then that is strange; your actual learning speed is among the fastest I have ever seen. Not only are your peers not as fast as you, but even young people in their twenties are not.

However, the subsequent practice of reverse parking and side parking did not go so smoothly; I still kept making mistakes because of nervousness. Especially when I started the loop practice and other students were lined up behind me waiting, I began to get nervous; one day I even practiced until I felt discomfort in my heart.

I told my wife, if I cannot pass the Subject 2 test, I will give up. Someone like me who has had repeated accidents—even if I barely learned, I would probably be a road killer once on the road; it is hard to say whether it would be a blessing or a curse. My wife said, fine, as you wish.

Later I changed my practice method at the school. I proposed to the coach that I not practice with the group; instead, I would find an empty spot by myself to practice parking. With no one in front of or behind me, I would be much more relaxed. Seeing that I was practicing so poorly, the coach agreed and found me an empty place to fend for myself.

They would only come by from time to time to see how I was doing. After watching me practice independently without coaching, they told me I was really strange: when practicing alone everything was fine, but as soon as I joined the loop I fell apart. I hurriedly told them my proficiency was not yet enough and I needed more practice; only when sufficiently skilled would I dare do loop practice.

After adopting this unorthodox method, I quickly mastered the driving skills. After two days of practice, I was proficient in all the Subject 2 items. The day before the test, I joined the group for on-site loop practice; more than half the time I could score above 80, though the highest I reached was 95.

I was not very satisfied with this result, worrying that nervousness during the test would make me fail, so I applied for two extra lesson-hours to improve my proficiency. During the extra training, a young new coach took me. We hit it off; after he sat in the passenger seat, he said directly: you drive one lap first, and I won't say a word; after you finish, I'll point out your problems. On that lap I scored 90, and he pointed out a few detailed errors. On the second lap, following his hints, I corrected those small errors and scored full marks. On the subsequent laps, I never made the errors he had mentioned again.

So in the Subject 2 test, I passed on the first attempt with full marks. Because I had practiced Subject 2 so seriously and could now steer proficiently, the Subject 3 training was much easier.

On the first day of Subject 3 I was assigned to the Haidian Driving School Subject 3 training ground; after a few laps I had basically mastered the Subject 3 skills. On the second day, during the day, we began learning on the outer main roads. That was my first time formally driving on a main road; when the coach asked me to drive on my own, I still felt nervous. I smiled and asked him: you're really letting someone like me, who has never driven on a road, take the wheel directly? The coach said: there is always a first time; drive boldly and confidently, I'm watching from the passenger seat and will brake in time if there is danger.

On the first day of road driving I was indeed not relaxed enough. But on the second day of road driving I was very relaxed; my speed was the fastest of all the students, constantly overtaking others on the practice road. Later my speed was basically the same as that of regular traffic, and the car was very steady. Starting, stopping, overtaking, lane-changing and U-turns were all smooth, and I could reach 60 km/h.

The coach said: your reaction speed is fast and your safety awareness is strong;you can already formally drive on the road; there is no problem at all with the Subject 3 test, don't worry. So Subject 3 went without a hitch, and I passed smoothly again. Right after finishing Subject 3, I took Subject 4 the same day, and passed it on the first attempt as well.

The driver's license I had feared for more than twenty years and never dared attempt was passed without effort. I started my first training on January 14 and finished Subject 4 and obtained the license on February 3, with no hiccups in between.

This experience of getting my license also gave me a personal taste of how greatly fear can affect a person's performance. The shadow left by past failures can hold a person back. Only by facing it directly can we overcome this psychological barrier.