The Benefits of Adopting Long-termism

These past couple of days I have been in Foshan, Guangdong, looking into the jade market here on behalf of my family, visiting a few old friends and former classmates I have known for more than twenty years, and meeting with some patients and their families.

Meeting old friends again is both joyful and bittersweet. Bonds of twenty-plus years run deep; even after years without contact, the moment we meet again it is as warm as yesterday. We long to sit side by side and talk late into the night by candlelight, and it is a great joy. The sadness is that we have all reached middle age and each has walked a rough and uneven road, so the joy of reunion is inevitably mingled with a sigh.

I have never been good at making friends through superficial socializing, so even now I have not learned the etiquette of the dinner table. When a group of people dine together and raise their cups and converse merrily, I am always the odd one out, at a loss. But once I become close friends with anyone, that bond lasts a lifetime. So although I do not have many friends, the bonds between us run very deep.

Making friends is a little like brewing wine: the longer it ages, the richer its aroma, and friendship is the same. Although I keep a distance with others, as the saying goes, "the friendship of gentlemen is as plain as water," those who understand me still choose to stay in touch with me over the long run, probably because we genuinely appreciate one another's souls. Moreover, someone as socially awkward as I am is at least more sincere than most, and there are always people who prefer dealing with someone without hidden agendas. This also filters out those most worth befriending; fair-weather friends would not take to me.

My traits are actually quite easy to recognize: I dress casually and always look lost in thought when I walk. I am a hopeless navigator; even with a phone GPS I still cannot find my way, because I cannot tell east from west, so I constantly have to ask passersby for directions. Fortunately the world is still a friendly place, and there are always warm-hearted strangers willing to help someone as helpless at daily living as I am.

Muddling through into my forties, I am often told by patients or family members I have just met for the first time that they recognized me from a crowd at a glance. This time, a family member of a patient I had never met before waited for me outside my hotel; she spotted me from far away and greeted me as I approached. So even being clueless has its advantages: a high recognizability, which makes it easy for others to pick us out of a crowd.

In both my work and my friendships I prefer to adhere to long-termism. I am unwilling to do anything geared to quick gains, nor do I want to enter into any performative, go-through-the-motions relationship with anyone. This way of doing things makes work easy and friendships comfortable.

If you try to do things well in the short term, it is both exhausting and difficult. But if from the very outset you make up your mind to persist over the long run, set no short-term goals driven by quick returns, and never let go when setbacks arise, then it becomes far easier; it is simply a matter of accumulating day after day. It is the same with friendship: to become fast friends with a stranger quickly requires a certain social skill. But if you hope to stay in touch with someone over the long run, you only need to be kindred spirits; no sophisticated social technique is required. Good friendship fears no test of time.

I intend to immerse myself in medical research for the rest of my life and never come out of it, but I have also picked up some business skills, which relatives and friends often borrow. If I decide to start a partnership or a business with someone, I will also choose people who practice long-termism as partners, set a long-term shared goal, and realize it step by step.

I have an old friend who, like me, practices long-termism in his career. We became close friends around the age of twenty. After this reunion we talked at length about family matters, career, and some insights from doing business. Looking back together, we felt deeply about our youthful years. His career is now very successful, because along the way, just like me, he has been taking steady, solid steps day after day, working as diligently as "no work, no food," and he loves learning. So he has now reached the moment where long accumulation finally bursts forth.

People with such qualities can hardly fail to do things well; they are always surrounded by deep friendships, and their mindset is more serene. Because we are in no rush for success and do not crave it intensely, we do not urgently demand instant results, nor do we care about the gaze of outsiders, so we easily become the calmest kind of person in the crowd. Whether it is a career or a relationship, to keep it going over the long run requires this kind of composure.

For in truth there is no easily attained goal in this world. Only by persisting long-term in a direction we love can we achieve anything.