When an Illness Is Troubling and Hard, Be Wary of Saying Give Up; The Way of Medicine Is Steep, Always Examine Oneself

The first half of the title of this article is the title of an article by a senior medical elder I got to know last year; I added the second half, like a bad dog wagging its tail behind a sable, to make up this title and write this article.

This elder is about the same age as my father. Through certain circumstances we formed a teacher-student bond. He is both a well-known veteran TCM doctor and an outstanding teacher of TCM formula studies. He is on good terms with my own master, and, like my master, he enjoys a fine reputation among patients.

His article was very short. In it he introduced the medication plan and treatment history of a poor parotid-cancer patient who had come to him for treatment for more than ten years.

Because of poverty, this patient could not afford any expensive Western treatment, and for over ten years had relied on his patient, careful regulation with Chinese herbs. Though not cured, the patient has lived on with cancer all this time.

The teacher lamented that when an illness is troubling and hard, the patient despairs and the doctor is in a tight spot; but, whether doctor or patient, both must be wary of saying "give up."

This is an article the teacher wrote in 2016. When he suddenly reposted it yesterday, I was just then, under excessive work pressure, beginning to show some signs of being restless and impetuous. At such a moment, reading the teacher's article was like drinking a draught of cool sweet dew; my heart at once grew much calmer.

I always feel that, among the recent bits and pieces this new teacher of mine has written, some content is a form of oblique teaching and enlightenment aimed at me.

Just a few days ago, when I decided to set a paid threshold for inquirers, the old gentleman also wrote some words addressing the same problem. Whether in wording or in method, his were far more approachable and gentle than mine.

The ancients said: high learning makes a teacher; upright conduct makes a model. My teacher is eminently worthy of this. The moment I saw the words he had posted, I realized that my own way of handling the problem was still too crude.

The road of practicing medicine is also the road of a doctor's self-cultivation. The doctor should be broad-minded, able to endure what others cannot endure and bear what others cannot bear. For the medical profession is truly exceptional.

Only I am ashamed that I have not done well enough. Here I also wish to sincerely apologize to any patient or patient's family whom I may have inadvertently offended, hoping you will forgive my rashness and ignorance.

What we face is the most emotionally inflammable set of problems in the world. We must solve the patient's physical and mental problems, but in the process of solving them, we ourselves may develop our own physical and mental problems from occupational burnout; and usually, when our own body and mind go wrong, we do not notice it at the first moment.

At such times we especially need an elder to teach us to see ourselves clearly. Using a person as a mirror, one can know gain and loss. This wordless teaching of my teacher has benefited me greatly.

The way of medicine is steep—especially when a physician has aspirations, not merely hoping to treat the few patients he currently meets, but also hoping to leave behind some valuable medical writings that can, after his death, still contribute to treating other patients. Then it is all the more difficult.

High-intensity, overloaded work is a trial of time, brain and body. More importantly, it also tests the doctor's ability to regulate his own mood and manage his emotions. If one cannot adjust one's own body and mind well, one easily makes mistakes. And the doctor is a profession in which one cannot afford mistakes. So constant self-examination, and inspecting one's own faults, is one of the basic professional qualities a doctor must have.

Whether toward one's own patients or toward one's own writings, one must have perseverance and patience, and not give up lightly. Even toward patients who are not one's own, one must have patience and sincerity. Only thus can one walk farther on the road of medicine.

Confucius said: among three people walking, there must be one who can be my teacher; and he said: I examine myself three times a day. Only by lowering one's head and being a good student can one learn more; only by constant self-examination can one grow further. If one thinks too highly of oneself and is stubbornly opinionated, sooner or later one will swallow the bitter fruit.

Seeing the worthy, think of equaling him; seeing the unworthy, examine oneself within. Thank you to all the teachers who have, in every form, taught me wisdom!