Yan Hui's Way of Living: Not Transferring Blame, Not Repeating Mistakes, Not Following Blindly, Not Forcing Things

Confucius had three thousand disciples and seventy-two worthies; among the seventy-two, Confucius admired Yan Hui most. Unfortunately Yan Hui was unlucky: he died young at forty. Confucius praised Yan Hui for being eager to learn, saying he "did not transfer his anger, and did not repeat his faults." Confucius also said: "How virtuous is Hui! A single bamboo dish of rice, a single gourd of drink, in the mean alley—others could not bear the distress, but Hui did not change his joy. How virtuous is Hui!"

From Confucius' praise we roughly know what kind of person Yan Hui was: he was content in poverty and delighted in the Way, did not transfer his anger onto others, was skilled at self-examination, and did not commit the same fault twice. Later generations mostly regard Yan Hui as noble in character; I personally prefer not to understand these ancient sages morally. I am more inclined to see Yan Hui as a very wise man who knew how to conduct himself and live.

"Not transferring anger, not repeating faults" is an extraordinary ability. Too many people, when facing setbacks and failure, love to transfer their anger and push all responsibility onto others. They are not pretending to be angry out of fear of blame; they genuinely believe from the bottom of their hearts that they are right, that the fault lies with others, with external circumstances. Unfortunately such people always "repeat their faults"—stumbling again and again in the same place. Nations and peoples are also prone to this, which is why absurd events keep recurring in history, as if humankind had no memory.

People skilled at reflection do not "transfer their anger"; they reflect on what they did poorly, what they failed to consider thoroughly, and such reflection easily reveals their oversights. Next time they meet the same situation, they will not err.

People who do not transfer anger not only keep improving but also have steady emotions. I believe someone like Yan Hui rarely clashed with others, and even if conflicts occasionally arose, he quickly calmed down. We need the ability not to complain about life or other people; with that ability we can always keep a light and joyful mood.

In my youth I longed to be understood; now I try my best to sympathize with and understand others—including those who make unreasonable scenes. It is their misfortune to have grown up under adverse environments and mistaken educational ideas. If they had grown up in better circumstances, received a good education, and lived more smoothly, I believe they would not be this way.

My wife is a teacher and often tells me about things she encounters at work. Her experiences have let me see how education can distort a person's character. For example, some parents are brutish, always finding fault where none exists; at the slightest conflict between their child and others, they throw tantrums, transfer their anger onto others, insist their child is completely blameless and it is all the other child's fault, and demand compensation from other parents. In the end their child is ostracized by classmates, and no one will associate with them.

Influenced by their parents' way of thinking, such children tend to carry this blame-shifting pattern into relationships as adults and rarely have close friends in their whole lives. Teachers always hope, while they can still influence students, to steer children toward a better path; so I, following my wife, have learned to sympathize with and understand children from such families.

At work I also meet difficult patients and family members. In the past I got angry at some of them, but I no longer do. I try my best to understand and accept them. Doctors grow calmer the longer they practice; with more experience we work out ways of getting along with all kinds of patients and families. Some younger doctors I am close to occasionally vent their grievances; I always comfort them, encourage them to stay calm, and keep going.

Yan Hui also had the virtues of not following blindly and not forcing things. He could be content in poverty and delight in the Way because he was not swayed by others. In Yan Hui's time people also loved chasing glory, status, and vanity, but Yan Hui could think independently and was unaffected by others, so a simple diet did not affect his mood. He may not have needed wealth and status, but he treated these external things with an attitude of letting things be. As his teacher Confucius said: "If wealth were worth seeking, even holding a whip as a groom I would do it. But if it is not to be sought, I shall follow my own inclinations."

Yan Hui's attitude to life was admired not only by Confucius but also by Zhuangzi. Zhuangzi wrote sharply and loved satirizing Confucian figures, yet he praised Yan Hui profusely, calling him one who "honored virtue," far superior to Confucius' other disciple Zigong, who "pursued inquiry and study." In the "Great Teacher" chapter of Zhuangzi, Yan Hui, who had reached the state of "sitting in forgetfulness," is said to be even more advanced than his teacher Confucius; Zhuangzi has Confucius admitting he is behind and saying to Yan Hui: "Qiu (Confucius' self-reference) asks to follow behind you." Of course, this passage was invented by Zhuangzi. Yan Hui revered his teacher and certainly would not have treated his beloved master as brazenly as Zhuangzi describes.