About me

I was born in the seventh lunar month of 1979 in a clan village where families of the same surname lived together. I currently live in Beijing, close to the National Library. I received all my schooling in my hometown before turning eighteen and rarely traveled far from home.

 

I am skilled at farming, and my family owns several mu of low-yield farmland. Despite having lived in the capital for many years, I am fonder of the life of farming and reading.

 

I often dream of retiring to my hometown in my old age, tending the land and studying classics while practicing medicine to help the needy.

 

However, as times have changed, my hometown village has gradually emptied out, leaving me filled with endless melancholy.

 

This mindset allows me to live contentedly with simple pleasures even amid the bustling capital. Starting in 2020, I rented a small vegetable plot at the foot of the Western Hills in Beijing for an annual rent of 2,000 RMB.

 

I take joy in growing vegetables in my spare time, living the ideal farming-and-studying life I have long envisioned. Gradually, I grow so attached to this life that homesickness fades day by day.

 

My parents farmed while running a small side business, and I began helping them set up street stalls selling agricultural produce from the age of seven. Throughout junior high and high school, I frequently rode a bicycle loaded with baskets to sell homemade snacks door to door.

 

Later, my parents expanded their business to a neighboring county, leaving me to tend the family farm and local small trades. Every weekend when I returned home, I handled all chores: laundry, cooking, farm labor, deliveries and bill settlements. These years honed my skills in both farming and business.

 

In my senior year of high school, our family nearly went bankrupt and fell into severe financial hardship. My elder brother was attending university at the time, compounding the household’s financial strain, compounded further by the 1998 financial crisis.

 

Those years marked the toughest period of my life. At my lowest point, I once wandered the streets and even begged for food, yet I persevered through all hardships. Since then, I have become resilient to bankruptcy and homelessness, unafraid of any form of destitution.

 

I was frail and sickly as a child: a hepatitis B carrier and chronically troubled by chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). After puberty, my physique grew robust, and I now enjoy vigorous health with abundant energy.

 

My family has a tradition of practicing medicine, and I had an urgent personal need to learn medical skills to heal myself. After my mother developed cancer, I threw myself into medical study day and night, neglecting food and rest.

 

My grandmother and mother were devout Buddhists. Influenced by my grandmother, I memorized many Buddhist scriptures from childhood, sparking my interest in Buddhist studies.

 

I have devoted the most time to two fields: medicine and Buddhism, yet I have never become a religious believer. Many of my relatives are pious adherents of various faiths, yet I remain unaffected, possessing strong immunity to religious proselytization. I therefore kindly ask all religious believers not to waste your time attempting to convert me.

 

In my youthful recklessness, I aspired to countless grand ambitions: to become a thinker, literary master, scholar, distinguished physician, wealthy tycoon, philanthropist, martial arts expert, and more.

 

Today, these youthful dreams strike me merely as amusing jokes. After turning thirty, I achieved peace of mind, solidified my temperament, stabilized my emotions, and discovered a lifelong mission worthy of my dedication. As a teenager, my outstanding academic performance and good conduct earned me favor from teachers, fostering an unrestrained, candid personality.

Having endured the grief of parting and loss, and witnessed the vicissitudes of life, I have come to recognize my own insignificance. I have run businesses, written computer code, drafted mechanical drawings, researched single-chip microcomputers, and earned a living through writing. Ever since enrolling in university in 1998, I have studied medicine part-time for years to treat my own ailments, experimenting with various herbal remedies without suffering severe harm.

 

Following my mother’s passing in 2012, I resolved to abandon all other pursuits. I completed formal apprenticeship paperwork for traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) as required by national health authorities, switching careers to TCM and devoting the rest of my life to medical study and clinical practice. As a TCM apprentice, I sat for the Qualification Examination for Physicians with Specialized TCM

 

Expertise and completed the full assessment process for traditional medical apprenticeship and verified specialized expertise. The journey was fraught with hardship and setbacks, and I would not recommend others to follow my path. If you aspire to study medicine, I strongly advise taking the national college entrance examination to attend a full-time medical university—this route will yield far richer rewards.

 

While studying TCM, I grew acutely aware of its considerable limitations, so I expanded my studies to Western medicine, psychiatry and biology, aiming to master comprehensive knowledge of life sciences. My interdisciplinary learning has drawn criticism and mockery from rigid proponents of both pure TCM and Western medicine, leaving me caught between two sides. I have endured verbal abuse from advocates of opposing medical schools, yet I merely smile and choose not to engage in debate.

 

I strive for perfection yet remain profoundly imperfect. In my freshman year of university, my strong independent spirit and unruly temperament led me to drop out. I supported myself through manual labor in Beijing while self-studying at the National Library. I possess solid learning aptitude and am an avid reader, exploring literature, history, philosophy, sociology, anthropology, psychology, psychiatry, economics, management, marketing, religious studies, medicine, biology, information science, mechanical engineering and programming. I have mastered multiple practical skills capable of sustaining a livelihood. I can lose myself for hours immersed in books, yet my extremely broad reading range leaves my knowledge broad rather than deep.

 

Though I hold myself to strict standards, I have committed many regrettable misdeeds. Fortunately, my faults never amounted to grave evil. I often remind myself with the line: There are countless books I have yet to read, and many deeds I dare not speak of to others. I am no morally flawless sage; driven by human desires and emotions, I have made mistakes that trouble my conscience, leaving moral blemishes and hurting others. Nevertheless, I hold a compassionate heart dedicated to healing the sick and aiding the impoverished. I have assisted numerous people trapped in hardship, particularly cancer and stroke sequelae patients like my mother.

 

After turning thirty, I gained a realistic self-perception and acknowledged my ordinariness. I accept that I am merely an imperfect mortal, abandoning my former arrogance while retaining the resolve to accomplish meaningful work and continuously improve myself. I frequently remind myself that I am an ordinary person with no remarkable achievements, numerous flaws and little merit, striving constantly to reform and better myself. My mindset has grown calm and steady, and I uphold kindness toward all and support vulnerable groups.

In my studies, I embrace an eclectic approach, adopting valuable ideas without blind faith and upholding independent critical thinking. Upon reaching forty, I achieved five profound breakthroughs:First, I fully let go of my lingering self-admiration and all arrogance, maintaining constant self-reflection.Second, I abandoned blind reverence for authorities in any field. I recognize both the strengths and flaws of sages and masters, understanding they are flawed mortals just like me. I absorb their merits while retaining independent judgment.Third, I renounced cravings for fame, wealth and indulgence, attaining inner peace. I now live a simple life: walking rather than riding carriages, eating plain meals, studying diligently, working hard, and writing quietly.Fourth, I overcame my lazy tendencies and regained my old diligence—even more hardworking than my most industrious youth, living and working actively with joy and tireless energy.Fifth, I detached myself from obsessive emotional attachments. I let go of grief over the deaths of my mother, father-in-law and cousin, forgave all those who wronged me, and sincerely repented to everyone I have hurt, gradually achieving an accepting outlook on fate.

 

This invaluable wisdom came from thousands of books, extensive life experience, worldly hardships and independent critical thought.

My life aspirations have evolved drastically through the years:As a teenager, immersed in classical sage texts, I dreamed of eliminating humanity’s inherent flaws to create a better world.In my twenties, I read widely at university and the National Library while running businesses to support my family.Around thirty, I purchased a home near the National Library and devoted myself round-the-clock to medical study. My greatest wish was to master medicine and become an outstanding physician capable of curing patients.After turning forty, my primary goal shifted to healing my own chaotic mind, ceasing overthinking, living peacefully with loved ones, and pursuing simple joys: planting flowers and vegetables, reading, writing, playing musical instruments, treating patients, casual banter, rest, and quiet companionship.

My current outlook on life centers on minimalism. I abide by a simple code of conduct: do no harm to others, avoid wrongdoing, and reject extremism. I commit to lifelong learning, self-improvement, truth, conscience and rationality, prioritizing physical health, inner tranquility and family harmony as my core life goals. Though I strive for strict self-discipline, I often fall short, placing my hopes for self-perfection in the years ahead.

 

My personal motto reads: "Desire brings suffering; contentment brings peace. Let go as fate allows, and follow the natural course of things." It constantly reminds me to find joy in sufficiency.

 

I am a firm atheist and skeptic. I do not blindly accept any supposed absolute truths, nor do I believe in religion or supernatural spirits. I love exploring new ideas, yet I fully respect all harmless personal faiths held by others. I avoid judging others, though occasional anger may prompt me to criticize social evils—such impulses grow rarer by the year.

 

Romantic in youth, fond of theoretical debate in young adulthood, and focused on empirical evidence in middle age. After my mother suffered from cancer and two strokes, enduring agonies from the disease and its residual complications, I dedicated myself to researching cancer and stroke sequelae to care for her. I now relish solitary academic research and quiet seclusion at home. Unlike my younger self, I avoid socializing, refuse to be indoctrinated, and never seek to sway others’ beliefs. I only wish to retreat to a quiet corner to pursue my research undisturbed.

I launched a personal website and a WeChat Official Account to publish articles purely out of personal passion. An ancient maxim states: "If one cannot become a virtuous prime minister, one ought to become a skilled physician." Another adage holds: "Ignorance of medicine constitutes unfilial conduct." After my mother’s cancer and strokes, I studied medicine relentlessly to ease her suffering. Though I ultimately could not save her life, I preserved her quality of life and extended her survival during her most vulnerable days.

 

Her passing in 2012 plunged me into three years of profound grief, and I once contemplated becoming a monk. Emerging from this period of sorrow, my life’s priorities shifted entirely. I no longer chase fame or fortune, and I hold deep empathy for patients and their families enduring the same suffering as my mother. I hope to share my experience of coping with severe family illness and my medical insights to comfort others facing similar misfortune.

 

Starting in 2015, I slowly recovered from my grief over my mother’s death. Encouraged by my elder brother and my mother’s fellow cancer patients, I began long-term medical popular science writing as a tribute to her. I had actually written medical articles as early as 2006, before launching my website and official account, posting scattered pieces on Tianya Forum, Sina Blog, Toutiao and Weibo. I later closed all these public social media accounts to escape commotion, reserving my writing space for a small readership of mentors, classmates, relatives, friends and familiar patients.

 

I have cultivated a daily writing habit over the years to combat my innate laziness, a practice I intend to sustain for the rest of my life. In 2023, when my only son entered university, I conceived the idea of returning to school myself. That same year, my cousin, a doctor, passed away suddenly from chronic illness worsened by overwork, leaving me devastated. Just half a month after his death, I survived a serious car accident, narrowly escaping death. Multiple loved ones died that year, leaving me overwhelmed by bereavement. My physical and mental health deteriorated, and I endured months of depression before recovering naturally.

 

At the age of 46 in 2025, I retook the national unified college entrance examination and was admitted to the Clinical Medicine program at a public medical university, where I am currently studying Western medicine full-time on campus. Upon graduation, I aim to integrate TCM and Western medicine to continue my medical research. To avoid excessive disruptions during my studies, I ask that you refrain from inquiring about my university’s name until I graduate.

 

For the remainder of my life, I plan to narrow my broad knowledge into specialized expertise and become a gentleman scientist focused on life sciences, devoting myself to medical and biological research. I have two core life plans: first, raise my only son to become self-sufficient; second, deepen my decades-long research on cancer and stroke sequelae, compile my clinical insights, and publish one or two medical monographs that satisfy my own standards.

 

I acknowledge I possess no extraordinary natural talent. While I have modest aptitude, I cannot compare to genuine geniuses. During my school years, I studied alongside classmates with far superior intellectual ability, which instilled perpetual humility in me, motivating me to compensate for my shortcomings through diligence. Fortunately, consistent incremental learning over the years has allowed me to accumulate substantial knowledge.

 

In my later years, I will neither grow arrogant nor belittle myself. I only seek to take steady, grounded steps toward self-improvement, leaving the fulfillment of my aspirations to fate. I remain convinced my knowledge is incomplete, and I lack full confidence in all articles I publish. I urge all readers to approach my writing with caution and independent critical thinking, avoiding blind acceptance to prevent misguidance.

 

My writings inevitably contain errors and oversights, and I welcome constructive corrections from knowledgeable readers. However, I will not engage with irrational personal attacks.

 

E-mail：zhouzhiyuan1979@qq.com