Being Full of Oneself Is a Disease
I hold a view, from a medical perspective, that may offend many people: being full of oneself is a disease. It is found in many devout believers, in disciples of moralistic teachers, or—as the saying goes—in high achievers and "successful people."
The professional medical term for this condition is paranoid cognitive disorder. Of course, very mild symptoms can basically be ignored; severe symptoms gradually develop into mental illness, and especially severe cases constitute paranoid personality disorder. Among China's hundred million-plus mental patients there is a large number of people with paranoid personality disorder. The typical symptoms of this condition are: being full of oneself, being fond of playing the teacher, being stubbornly opinionated, being hypercritical, loving to argue, and especially wishing to convert others to one's own way of thinking. Many who suffer from this have high IQs, but their EQ is extremely low.
From the standpoint of cognitive psychology, mild cognitive disorders can be resolved through self-reflection and other means of altering cognition. But severe cognitive disorders leave the vast majority of clinical psychologists helpless. In daily life we encounter many such people; unfortunately, many of us may have to work with them in the same office or live under the same roof. Even more unfortunately, many of us are ourselves such patients.
My current rule of thumb is: unless a doctor-patient relationship has been established, stay silent when encountering such people. Arguing with them is a sheer waste of time. From the standpoint of valuing one's time and avoiding mishaps, holding to the life attitude that "silence is golden" in front of such people is a fine choice. Of course, with mildly symptomatic patients, a touch of humor now and then to trigger their self-reflection can also be good. In real life, dwelling too much on such people brings real losses.
At certain stages of life, everyone inevitably falls into a state of being full of oneself—what is called "becoming swollen-headed after a bit of success." Having achieved something or learned a thing or two, one thinks oneself remarkable, not knowing the height of heaven or the thickness of earth. The best cure for this is self-reflection, but regrettably many people's capacity for self-reflection has never been successfully cultivated.
The greatest spiritual nourishment religion offers humanity is its spirit of reflection and repentance. Regrettably, however, many religious believers learn only the surface, not the essence. As they study, they come to think their own faith is extraordinary and fall into another kind of self-importance—still not having stepped out of cognitive disorder. As for religious believers who have not stepped out of cognitive disorder, though they claim to be very happy, I personally do not believe it. Where there is arrogance in the heart, how can there be ultimate happiness? That kind of happiness is nothing but self-intoxication.
Although humanity has many spiritual problems, for most ordinary people the most fatal spiritual problems are still arrogance and prejudice. Humanity is imperfect. The strife among people certainly arises partly from instinctual struggles over desire, but in my view the more intractable kind is the arrogance and prejudice that pervade daily life. It is no easy matter to cure oneself of arrogance and prejudice.
The point I have come to appreciate most deeply is this: view oneself with an ordinary mind, regard oneself as an ordinary person, regard the various knowledge one has learned as common sense, regard others as equals to oneself, examine oneself more often in daily life, and test the various theoretical knowledge one has learned through practice. First eliminate arrogance, then study and practice diligently to improve one's discernment and problem-solving ability, and to discover one's own errors. Constantly remind oneself never to become swollen-headed and forget one's own weight.
Even reaching this point, one still may not entirely eliminate one's own cognitive blind spots. Another remedy for one's cognitive disorder is to conceal one's shortcomings: hold back from speaking in areas one does not understand. When interested, one may go and learn; when short on time, one leaves it alone and continues to keep one's shortcomings concealed. The realm each person knows is truly limited, and the unknown is vast; simply admit one's own ignorance.
People who regard themselves as gods, as saints, as saviors, or as messengers of the savior—I now avoid them as though fleeing a plague. Especially when their sense of mission exceeds their cognitive ability, the moment I see them I immediately beg off or flee. Because these chatterboxes not only ruin my good mood but waste my precious time.