A Genuine Sense of Equality Requires Not Rushing to Deny Others
On the Zhongyuan Festival, at my respected teacher's home, I discussed with him the topic of the equality of all beings. We eventually reached roughly this consensus: a heartfelt sense of equality requires us not to rush to deny others, nor to insist that one attitude toward life is good and another bad. As long as their beliefs and choices harm no one, all people's life beliefs and choices deserve respect; their meaning and value are equal, with no hierarchy of higher or lower. One must accept the rich diversity of this world, recognize that oneself is as humble and insignificant as anyone else in this vast world, recognize that like others one cannot represent ultimate truth, and refrain from interfering with or censuring other people's beliefs and life choices. This conversation meant a great deal to me; it sparked some reflections and changed my attitude toward life.
Once a dying patient posted a passage, roughly to the following effect: The doctor sentenced me to death on the one hand, and on the other told me that believing in this would not help, and believing in that would not help either. How am I supposed to face this cruel life?
Faced with these words from the patient, I fell silent. As someone with a science and engineering background who firmly believes in science, I too felt great trepidation before such a question from a patient. From a medical point of view, his disease was already beyond cure. When we inform the patient of this cruel reality while at the same time denying his own beliefs, it is, for the patient, an utterly cruel thing. Whether the patient's beliefs are right or wrong, they are at least a great spiritual comfort to him. When we rush to deny the patient's beliefs, we are destroying his last spiritual pillar.
Because of these experiences, I gradually changed some of my past ways. I no longer deny whatever patients and their families believe; I only offer advice from the angle of the professional knowledge I have, and whether they adopt it or not is up to the patients and their families. I no longer try hard to persuade patients and their families to believe or not believe in anything.
Extending this further, not only on medical matters but also in the face of all kinds of life stances, I now take the same attitude. My own understanding can only represent my own understanding; such understanding has strong limitations and is by no means universal, and is entirely unworthy of—and should not be—rammed down others' throats for them to accept. When others choose a certain way of life, they must have their own reasons; as long as it harms no one, I have no right to interfere with or judge their choice.
I used to deny many things; now I am denying my own past. I used to be a great speaker; now when I talk with people my eloquence is quite ordinary. It is not that my expressive ability has declined, but that in the past the ignorant were fearless and I dared say anything; now my understanding has changed, and many things I used to be able to say I can no longer bring myself to say, so I have gradually become awkward with words.
In the past I always liked to center myself and my beliefs, thinking my insights were more correct than others', and gladly spread my views to the world and promoted my faith. Now I no longer have such courage. Having mixed in this world for many years, I have gradually come to understand that each of us is merely one numerator, while the denominator is the countless multitudes of people through the ages. One may talk to oneself, but one must never be fond of playing the teacher.
This shift in understanding gradually changed my attitude toward life. I have finally put into practice the life stance I once pursued—"no strife with the world, no resentment toward others." In my dealings with people I have become much more taciturn; my inner being is no longer easily stirred. Whatever words I hear, whether others find them pleasant or unpleasant, no longer grate on my ears.
What I affirm, I still affirm—unless some new insight changes my past cognition. But what I once denied, I no longer deny. I gradually focus my attention on the questions I care about, concentrating single-mindedly on studying the field I love, with no distractions. This state, at least for now, is one I am personally quite satisfied with, and that is enough.