Middle Age Brings Much Suffering, and Now Another Loss

Today I spoke on the phone with my father. He told me that yesterday, one of my cousins suddenly died of cor pulmonale in Wenzhou. This cousin was only one year older than I, was also a doctor, and we grew up together. He has three underage children. For his family, he was the mainstay. But perhaps affected by long COVID plus the tendency of doctors to overwork, he suddenly passed away like this.

This call saddened me all day; my recently settled emotions were stirred up again. I have bought a ticket back to my hometown for tomorrow and will probably spend the coming week there, attending his funeral and handling various affairs at home.

This has not been a peaceful year for me; parting from loved ones has happened again and again. Another family member who dined alongside me on life's journey has left the table, leaving his eighty-something father, his widow, and three underage children in immense grief, and bringing endless sorrow to us close relatives. From my great-grandfather onward, our family has had this tradition: when a family member suffers tragedy, the others have an obligation to care for that family. I think this tradition is a good one; it keeps us from living in isolation.

Such is the bleak life of middle age: birth, old age, illness, and death are beyond our control. Even doctors who rescue the dying and heal the wounded sometimes succumb suddenly to acute illness. Yesterday a patient's family member told me that someone like me should not waste time on things like growing vegetables; I should be doing bigger, more meaningful things. I told her that if I want to live longer, I have to garden and cannot be a perpetual workaholic. Besides gardening, I now play badminton three or four hours a week and rest well. I have slowed all my life goals; I am in no hurry to realize my ideals, nor do I crave anything rare, just letting life unfold naturally.

For a middle-aged person, taking care of his own body is the greatest responsibility to his family. If a middle-aged person suddenly passes away, the whole family's functioning is thrown into question. No matter how many relatives lend a hand, losing the mainstay is a disaster for a family.

Over the coming week I may not be able to update my articles regularly. I wish everyone would take care of your health. May every one of you be well.