There Are No Shortcuts in Studying Medicine

There may be shortcuts to many things in this world, but when it comes to studying medicine there are none. Over the years I have taken many detours in my medical studies, and in retrospect I somewhat regret it, because I wasted a lot of time and missed opportunities to improve myself.

Around twenty I badly wanted to drop out of university, repeat a year, and get into a medical school. But my family was far too poor at the time; there was a stretch in college when I ate only one meal a day. I could not even solve the problem of food and clothing, so going back to repeat for medical school felt too unrealistic.

In fact, going back then would not have cost much. My high-school teachers all liked and looked after me; after repeating a year and entering medical school, I could have applied for grants and loans and scraped through.

In my early thirties I again thought of retaking the college entrance exam to study at a medical school. But then I felt I had elderly parents and a young child to support, and taking the exam all over again was too extravagant and irresponsible to my family. Looking back now, had I gone to medical school then, it might not actually have affected my family all that much.

In the twinkling of an eye I reached forty, and I still want to attend medical school to receive a complete medical education, do some more meaningful basic medical research, raise my medical literacy, and better serve my patients.

Over these years, through apprenticeship and self-study, I have indeed achieved some modest success in Chinese medicine. Because my results are decent, I am somewhat known within a small circle. But I know myself that I have not reached the ideal state I am capable of.

If I had systematically received both Chinese and Western medical education, combined with my unceasing diligence, I should have deeper medical attainments than I do now. Compared with colleagues who grimly underwent systematic Chinese-and-Western training under a strict examination system, I had chosen a shortcut.

Reaching middle age, my will has finally firmed: I want, under a strict examination system, to receive a systematic Chinese-and-Western medical education to make up for my gaps in medical knowledge. Self-study and apprenticeship are not without value, but they tend to be scattered, here a hammer, there a stick, and unsystematic.

Needless to say, although what I have learned is broad and varied, it lacks systematicity. Although many people think my knowledge structure is passable, I myself am not satisfied with my state. That I can now openly admit my shortcomings in Chinese and Western medicine is precisely because my horizons have gradually widened, letting me see weaknesses I could not see before.

Studying medicine is hard; there is simply too much to learn. The breadth of medicine's reach, the width of its knowledge, the complexity of its situations, and the difficulty of its practical application are unmatched by any other discipline. That is why truly first-rate medical minds ultimately become rare, profound scholars.

If one wants to accomplish something in medicine, one needs the awareness of lifelong learning and the courage and broadmindedness to face one's own shortcomings at all times. We spend our whole life groping forward and improving ourselves through setbacks.

I remember Deng Xiaoping's son wrote a memoir saying that when he was forty he told Deng Xiaoping he wanted to come out and do some work. Deng Xiaoping said nothing, merely writing two characters, "Bu Huo" (no longer puzzled), and giving them to him. Deng Xiaoping felt his son had reached middle age and was ready to come out and make something of himself.

I have now reached that same age of "no longer puzzled," and have suddenly let go of many things; I have grown much quieter, willing to follow the voice of my own heart rather than fearing wolves ahead and tigers behind.

Difficulties that seemed overwhelming when young now seem nothing. However hard the road, for a middle-aged person already the mainstay of society and family, it is just a small hurdle one can clear with an effort—because we are already used to carrying burdens.

I am no longer willing to take shortcuts by learning only the most practical knowledge—although such learning is effective. I am willing to spend a great deal of time learning much that looks useless. In the past, in order to quickly solve the urgent problems before me, my learning was indeed a bit too pragmatic and results-driven.

Now I realize that this crash-course method, though highly practical, lays a foundation not broad enough on which to build a magnificent edifice. Now I want to study a great deal of foundational knowledge I once thought useless, hoping that ten years from now I can, on a far broader foundation, greatly surpass my present self.

I have a patient with elderly mesothelioma whose wife, before retiring, was an executive at a large state-owned enterprise and has rich life experience. On one of their visits this year, when I mentioned wanting to write books and produce academic work, she told me: don't rush, be patient, accumulate more; there is no rush to produce results by fifty.

I did not fully understand her words at the time, but now I feel she is quite right. Learning more and then settling and accumulating for another ten years will give my academic work greater depth than it has now.

I agonized for twenty years over whether to receive a systematic medical education, wavering between self-study and formal schooling. Now I realize that, although self-study is good, there are certain hard requirements it cannot meet. For example, to study anatomy I do not even have a "body donor" (a cadaver for medical students to dissect)—that is a hard deficiency.

So I no longer agonize; I have decided to start over with systematic education. Having made the decision, my heart is much calmer, and all that remains is to work hard.

The road ahead is long, but step by step, there will come a day when it is walked to the end. I cannot always take shortcuts; I must also endure hardship to learn a great deal of seemingly impractical but actually useful knowledge.

On the whole, I am a positive, optimistic person with great perseverance and endurance, who sees things through to the end. Although taking shortcuts in the past cost me some time, having now readjusted my life plan, I feel it is no big deal.

After all, the years past were not wasted; I still learned a great deal and have fairly rich practical experience. Now I am simply refining my knowledge structure further on that foundation.