Using the Relationship Between Genes and Environment to Change Oneself
Biologists have found that genes and environment each account for about half of their influence on human development, and on the onset and progression of disease. We can actually use this feature of genes and environment to change our own fate and regulate our health.
For example, we may be born lacking athletic ability; our genes may determine that we dislike exercise. But if the friends around us all love exercise, and the lifestyle we choose requires more activity, then we can use these acquired environmental factors to make up for our innate genetic shortcomings.
If a person is born self-disciplined, he may be relatively less affected by environment and can hold to his choices even in a bad environment. Self-discipline may indeed be innate. The most successful quitter I have ever known is my father. On the day my mother had a stroke, my senior fellow apprentice called my father into the doctor's office and told him that after my mother recovered, she could no longer live in a secondhand-smoke environment; he hoped my father would quit smoking. Coming out of that office, my father suffered terribly through withdrawal, but from that day on he truly never smoked another cigarette. My own self-discipline is also exceedingly rare, and now I see the same thing in my son: as he entered late adolescence, his self-discipline far outstripped that of most people. So I think this self-discipline in my family really is determined by inborn genes.
If a person lacks self-discipline and is easily influenced by environment, then he should consider the spirit of "Mencius' mother moved three times," choosing an environment highly suited to his own development and letting that environment shape him. Public square dancing is a typical example of environmental influence: many people once disliked exercise, but after joining a square-dance group, they fell in love with it.
Among cancer patients I have found that some, after joining anti-cancer gardens organized by fellow patients (such gardens exist all over the country), improved greatly. Those who once disliked exercise now keep exercising with the group; those with many bad habits, under the group's influence, gradually shed them. After being influenced by the environment, these people generally improved to varying degrees. Many behavioral and lifestyle habits are hard to overcome by our own strength, but after joining a group of similar members, with others' help we can overcome bad habits we could not overcome before.
Students naturally fall into two types: one is unaffected by environment and can teach himself; the other is strongly influenced by environment and will develop better in a better setting. We should certainly try to raise children's internal drive so they learn to study on their own initiative. But we must also see that some children have innate shortcomings and need the environment to drive them. Overall, most students succeed under the dual influence of innate genes and acquired environment.
I have encountered many problem families, and I find they share certain features: fixed communication patterns have formed, in which spouses, and parents and children, constantly blame and attack each other rather than noticing each other's strengths and agreeing with each other's views. Such families are usually riddled with problems; both parents and children are psychologically unhealthy, and this pattern easily passes from generation to generation. Members who marry into such families suffer greatly and, over time, are assimilated. Because in such a family, speaking properly is simply impossible.
Of course this does not mean the family environment is entirely unchangeable. When a person of very strong self-discipline decides to change his family environment, he usually succeeds. In any family, as long as one member decides to change and perseveres, within a year or two the family generally takes on a new atmosphere and its members form new habits. Or, when a person joins a group and acquires some habit from it, he can easily set an example and bring that habit home. Among modern psychological counselors, some specialize in family-relationship therapy; they usually also need a period of intervention to change a family's communication patterns.
Self-discipline also relates to age and experience: after enough falls and enough losses, self-discipline naturally strengthens. I personally believe that people with self-discipline genes must have ancestors who took many falls; precisely because they fell often, they learned the importance of self-discipline. So the conditions under which a person's innate self-discipline genes form are consistent with the conditions under which acquired self-discipline forms—and they must be consistent, otherwise it would contradict evolutionary theory.
In treating cancer I have found that besides using drugs to control the patient's condition, one must also correct behavioral habits and personality traits. Doing this successfully really costs every ounce of effort, because the power of genes and habits is enormous. Some people, because of their genes and habits formed in early childhood, have developed fixed patterns of thinking. Each time we correct their behavior and thought habits, they seem to have an "aha!" moment, but the next time they encounter a similar situation, their habitual behavioral and thought patterns kick in again. This really requires the patient to consciously apply the methods I describe to change himself.
An ancient Chinese saying goes, "Mountains and rivers are easy to move, but a person's nature is hard to change"—that is exactly the point. Yet in practice I find that although nature is hard to move, it is not immovable. Many people have successfully shed their old natures, and the way to do it is through self-discipline and external discipline. Self-discipline relies on the spirit of discipline; external discipline relies on environmental influence. The combination of self-discipline and external discipline can change a person's fate, and it does indeed have a great impact on physical and mental health.